W2A. Sentence Problems, Punctuation

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1. Summary

1.1 Sentence Problems and How to Fix Them

Correct sentence structure is essential for clear and effective communication. Common problems can make writing confusing or unprofessional, but they are easily fixed once identified.

1.1.1 Sentence Fragments

A sentence fragment is an incomplete thought punctuated as if it were a complete sentence. It lacks a subject, a verb, or both, and cannot stand on its own.

• Fragment: Three dogs and a goat. (Missing a verb/action).
• Complete Sentence: Three dogs and a goat ate all the food. (Now includes the verb “ate”).
• Fragment: Because I could not find my shoes. (This is a dependent clause, an incomplete thought).
• Complete Sentence: I felt sad because I could not find my shoes. (The fragment is now attached to a complete sentence).

1.1.2 Choppy Sentences

Choppy sentences are short, simple sentences that occur one after another. While grammatically correct, they can make writing sound abrupt and disconnected. The solution is to combine these short sentences into longer, more fluid ones using conjunctions and transitions.

• Choppy: Our results were inconsistent. The program obviously contains an error. We need to talk to Paul Davis. We will ask him to review the program.
• Improved: We will ask Paul Davis to review the program for errors because it produced inconsistent results.

1.1.3 Run-on Sentences

A run-on sentence occurs when two or more independent clauses (complete thoughts) are joined together improperly.

There are two main types:

1. Fused Sentences: Two independent clauses are joined with no punctuation at all.
   • Fused: The experiment failed it had been left unobserved for too long.
   • Corrected: The experiment failed because it had been left unobserved for too long. (Using a subordinating conjunction).
   • Corrected: The experiment had been left unobserved for too long, so it failed. (Using a comma and a coordinating conjunction).
2. Comma-Splice Sentences: Two independent clauses are joined with only a comma, which is not strong enough punctuation to connect them.
   • Comma Splice: The experiment failed, it had been left unobserved for too long.
   • Corrected: The experiment failed because it had been left unobserved for too long.
   • Corrected: The experiment had been left unobserved for too long, so it failed.

1.1.4 Loose Sentences

A loose sentence is a long, rambling sentence that contains too many clauses and phrases, making the main point difficult to understand. The key ideas are often buried in a series of additions. To fix this, break the sentence into shorter, more direct sentences that clearly state the essential information.

• Loose: We got the contract, according to which we must be ready by June 1 with the necessary personnel and equipment to get the job done, so with this in mind a staff meeting that all group managers are expected to attend, is scheduled for February 12.
• Improved: We must close the contract by June 1, so a mandatory staff meeting is scheduled for February 12.

1.1.5 Inappropriate or Excessive Coordination

This error occurs when too many independent clauses are linked together with coordinating conjunctions (like and, so, but), creating a long, stringy sentence that doesn’t show the proper relationship between ideas. The fix is to break the sentence into smaller ones or use subordination to clarify the relationship.

• Inappropriate: Roses are a popular flower, and they are difficult to grow, so many people choose to purchase them as cut flowers instead, but that can be expensive.
• Improved: Roses are a popular flower that are difficult to grow. So, many people buy cut roses, but that can be expensive.

1.1.6 Inappropriate or Excessive Subordination

This happens when a sentence has too many dependent clauses, creating a confusing and tangled structure. The main idea gets lost among less important details. The solution is to restructure the sentence into several shorter sentences, giving the main ideas more prominence.

• Excessive: Although Bwana thought that he was prepared, he failed the examination, which meant that he had to repeat the course before he could graduate which he did not want to do because it would conflict with his summer job.
• Improved: Bwana thought that he was prepared, but he failed the examination. Therefore, he would have to repeat the course before he could graduate. He did not want to do that because it would conflict with his summer job.

1.1.7 Non-Parallel Structures

Parallel structure means using the same grammatical form for items in a list or series. When this rule is broken, the sentence has a non-parallel structure, which can be awkward and confusing.

• Non-Parallel: I like to swim, to sail, and rowing. (The items are a mix of infinitives and a gerund).
• Parallel: I like to swim, to sail, and to row. (All infinitives).
• Parallel: I like swimming, sailing, and rowing. (All gerunds).

1.1.8 that vs. which

The choice between that and which depends on whether the clause that follows is essential or non-essential to the meaning of the sentence.

• Use that for Restrictive (Essential) Clauses: A restrictive clause provides information that is essential to identify the noun it describes. You cannot remove it without changing the sentence’s core meaning. These clauses are not set off by commas.
  • Example: This animal is the pink elephant that I love. (The clause that I love is essential; it specifies which pink elephant we are talking about).
• Use which for Non-Restrictive (Non-Essential) Clauses: A non-restrictive clause provides extra, non-essential information. It can be removed without changing the sentence’s basic meaning. These clauses are always set off by commas.
  • Example: This animal is a pink elephant, which I love. (The clause which I love is extra information. The main point is that the animal is a pink elephant).

1.2 Using Commas

Commas are punctuation marks that serve two main purposes: to tell readers where to pause and to separate groups of words to ensure clarity.

1.2.1 Commas with Clauses

• Independent Clauses: Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So - FANBOYS) when it joins two independent clauses.
  • Example: The student explained her question, yet the instructor still didn't seem to understand.
• Dependent Clauses: Do not use a comma when two clauses are joined by a subordinating conjunction (like if, since, as, when, although, while, after, before, until, because) and the independent clause comes first.
  • Example: A cannibal does not eat clowns because they taste funny.
• Introductory Dependent Clauses: Use a comma after a dependent clause when it comes before the independent clause.
  • Example: Since clowns taste funny, a cannibal does not eat them.

1.2.2 Commas with Transitions

Use a comma after a transitional word or phrase (e.g., Therefore, However, For example).

• Example: Clowns taste funny. Therefore, a cannibal does not eat them.
• Example: Dogs have masters. However, cats have servants.

1.2.3 Commas in Lists

• Use commas to separate three or more items in a list. The comma before the and is known as the Oxford comma and is often used for clarity.
  • Example: My bath toys were a hairdryer, a toaster, and a radio.
• If a list contains only two items, do not use a comma.
  • Example: My bath toys were a hairdryer and a toaster.

1.2.4 Commas for Quotations

• Reporting Clause First: He said, "If you cannot see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."
• Quotation First: "If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side," he said.
• Quotation Divided: "If you can't see the bright side of life," he said, "polish the dull side."

1.2.5 Commas with Parenthetical Expressions and Appositives

• A parenthetical expression is an extra piece of information that can be removed without changing the sentence’s meaning or grammar. It should be set off by commas.
  • Example: Clowns, as most researchers know, taste funny.
• An appositive is a word or phrase that renames a nearby noun. It provides more information about the noun and is also set off by commas.
  • Example: Clowns, those sweaty artists, taste funny.
• Important Note: Overusing parenthetical expressions and appositives can make text less readable by separating the subject and verb. For clearer writing, consider placing them at the beginning of a sentence or in a separate clause.
  • Less Effective: Dogs, unlike cats, have masters.
  • More Effective: Unlike cats, dogs have masters.
  • Less Effective: Dogs, the humans' best friends, have masters.
  • More Effective: Dogs are the humans' best friends, so dogs have masters.

1.2.6 Commas for Contrast

Use a comma to separate contrasting parts of a sentence.

• Example: Cats have servants, not masters.
• Example: Dogs have masters, not servants.

1.3 Bulleted and Numbered Lists

Lists are an effective way to organize information. The punctuation rules depend on whether the list items are complete sentences.

1.3.1 Incomplete Sentence Items

When list items are phrases or fragments that complete an introductory stem, use the following format:

• Introduce the list with a colon.

• Begin each item with a lowercase letter.

• Place a semicolon after each item.

• Use a period after the final item.

• Example: My parents clearly hated me because they gave me the following toys to play in the bathtub with:

  • a hairdryer;
  • a toaster;
  • a radio.

1.3.2 Complete Sentence Items

When each item in the list is a complete sentence, use this format:

• Introduce the list with a colon.

• Begin each item with a capital letter.

• Place a period after each item.

• Example: Cannibals do not eat clowns due to the following reasons:

  • Clowns run fast.
  • Clowns taste funny.
  • Clowns are scary.